Love

Love; (luv) noun 1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties maternal love for a child 2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers 3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests, love for his brothers.

This is the definition of love that you will find in Webster's Dictionary...and I don't really think that it really describes love. It sounds too brief, too easy, too simple. Not anything like love at all.

I love Sean Warren and our love is very different from Websters'.

I met Sean at the tender age of 14. I was "going out" with one of his friends who was hosting a Halloween party. I didn't know what to go as so I grabbed a pair of my mother's scrubs and stethoscope and went as a nurse. When I arrived at the house a little early, I was directed to the basement where the "party" was to be held. There was hardly anyone there yet except for my then boyfriend and an odd person in the corner with a masked costume on. I asked my boyfriend who it was and he merely shrugged his shoulders. I then asked the mystery man who he was...no response. After being thoroughly creeped out for 30 minutes they finally decided to end the joke and introduced me to my boyfriend's best friend: Sean Warren. Sean was short, had curly red hair, and a quiet disposition. I don't remember much else about the night, I know there was some sort of flashlight tag where I think I fell in the mud but the rest of the night was apparently not worth remembering.

Sean and I didn't cross paths again for almost another year. Our second meeting was during the summer on my 15th birthday. Both of our parents had shipped us off to a Christian Leadership Camp (and my parents claimed they never abused me). Due to a mandatory group project, Sean and I found ourselves in a group together. Somewhere along the way we began discussing our home lives. I'm sure I said my bit about never getting anything I wanted, etc. Sean began talking of a thwarted attempt to runaway from home. He had grabbed a tube of Pringles and walked out of the front door. I found the story for endearing and pathetic I laughed until I cried. Not long after the camp ended, school started up again. I was surprised when Sean approached me the very first week of school. After that every time I ran into Sean he was always making me laugh no matter what we were doing or talking about. He was always the butt of his own jokes, and always had something nice to say to me.

Now remember, I am 15 and probably the most selfish person on the planet. Any idiot could have seen that Sean had a crush on me, but I was too busy trying to catch the attention of senior boys. While I waited by the phone each night for my senior football dreamboat to call, I would pass the time by getting on AIM. The first name that would always pop up would be SeanShark88 with an enthusiastic "hey!". Our conversations would last until his little brother began to demand his turn on the computer. Eventually, the interruption of our conversations annoyed us so much that one night Sean asked if I would be interested in taking a walk with him around our neighborhood (we only lived a couple of streets down from one another) to see the Christmas lights. I agreed. Walks became a nightly ritual for us. Sean would call around 7 o'clock and we would agree to meet up for our walks. We talked about everything and nothing. Parents, siblings, school, dreams, fears, likes, dislikes...but we never had to force conversation, it just flowed. Sometimes we flirted so bad it was shameful, I would tell Sean how cold my hands were and he would suggest that I share his coat pocket with his hand.

I don't know exactly when it happened, but I began to fall for Sean Warren. One on particular night when Sean I were walking, we saw a shooting star. Extremely excited that we had seen it, I suggested that we should each make a wish. As our walk came to an end we sat together on the wooden fence of the Harmony Hills pool and savored the last few moments of conversation we had left before curfew. I then playfully asked Sean what he had wished for. He leaned in, kissed me, and said "you". SOLD! I remember practically dancing into my room and basking in the light of new found love. Being the shamelessly giddy 15 year old girl that I still am, I remember the day Sean asked me to be his girlfriend: December 21st, 2003.

Unfortunately, my time with Sean was cut short. My father applied for a transfer position that he was accepted for and our family was moving the the great hell hole, I mean state, of Alabama. I remember the moment I told Sean that my family was moving. It was the Saturday before Easter Sunday. We had watched his brother in a play and afterward we walked (surprise, surprise) to the nature preserve. I sat him down in the gazebo with tears flowing and told him my horrible news. Despite what logic would tell us as well as our parents, we decided to try and make it work. I think about the stupidity of it now, and laugh at my naive 15 yr old self...but then I look over and see Sean there and I remind myself that it was the best decision I've made in my entire life.

I came up to Kentucky for every holiday and school break. I stayed for the summers and I went to his prom. But I won't lie, 2 years apart was rough. But we made it. Stronger, more mature, more respectful of each other able to communicate our feelings to one another in an honest and sensitive way. I returned to Louisville for college and I know it's cliche' but the rest is history.

The point is, our love isn't just a sexual attraction or a kinship based on common interests. We fight hard everyday to keep our love going. And because we work so hard, our relationship is amazing. I still dance into my room at night after Sean tells me he loves me. I still get butterflies when he reaches for my hand. I still doodle his last name with my name. I still can't fall asleep at night until I tell Sean I love him and I know that he is safe. Sean is my world. He is my love.

College "dumbs you down"

I came across this viewing a friend’s facebook and I couldn’t help getting all in a hissy over it.




Let me see if I am following this correctly...if going to college makes you liberal, then not going to college makes you conservative. Therefore, if you are educated you are liberal, if you are uneducated you are conservative.

So wait, why is the conservative Fox News network broadcasting this?! (Probably because they have a bunch of high school only educated people running the show… like Glen Beck)

Enough bashing on the poor slob named Ben Schmeck…or whoever. College creates an environment of open mindedness and critical thinking. You are taught worldviews, not just hometown views. College allows people to explore beyond their comfort zones enabling them to stumble upon revelations they may not have encountered without the appropriate stimulation. But why are people in this day and age still regarding education as evil (or being liberal as evil for that matter)?

I’m also a little confused as to why the stat of 36% of college students being unable to name the three branches of government serves any relevance (other than being downright sad that if you live in a country you don’t know the basics of its government) or the question on an American’s guaranteed rights under the first amendment. Did the people performing the study ask high school graduates only the same question and see how many of them got it right? Perhaps, but regardless it would undermine the intent of Fox’s report on the study.

I also chuckled at the fact that they didn’t take the time to look over the researchers methodology for the survey, but they sure pulled the numbers 36% and 18% right from it. And if these guys knew shit from beans, they would realize that there is never anything that is straightforward about a scientific study. Methodology is everything! One screw up or miss worded question and you have thrown all your work and research out the window. What kinds of students were interviewed? All American born? 100 from every school in the college? 100 students from different colleges? All in one state, or from every state? Associates or Bachelors degrees? So many flaws and biases are possible in a study such as this one! Even if the study is legit and balanced, not everyone spends their class time studying government. Although a question about the 3 branches of our government maybe second nature to these people, I’ll be willing to bet they don’t know the first thing about a normal range in blood pressure or how to administer CPR to an infant. Those things are common sense to me now, but I don’t expect every Joe Blow on the street to know it.

I am a college student.
I am educated.
And I am most certainly a liberal.

…I guess the study does hold some weight.

A rough weekend.

Sorry about the lack of posts, but its been a rough weekend.

On Friday afternoon my cousin, Steven R. Foster, was killed in a head on collision in Grenville, AL. He was 43 years old. The man who hit him wasn't drunk, texting, or on his cell phone. He simply lost control around a curb and over-corrected into the other lane. A complete accident. My mother called me to let me know and the news hit me pretty hard. My cousin was always a laughing man, always ready with a joke or something to keep the conversation alive. He was also a loving father and husband. His oldest boy, Zach, is autistic like my brother, only more severe. He adored his wife and it was evident in everything that he did that he put his family first.

Funeral's are hard for me not always because of the loss, but because of my loss for words. I don't have the generic religious fallback phrases such as "he is in a better place" or "God wanted him home"... in fact, I believe that sometimes those phrases make people more angry and confused. I told them that I was there for them should they have any need whatsoever and that Steve would be so pleased to see how many lives he had touched in his short life.

I have personally been to 7 funerals in 2 years but this was the first that I really felt the grief. All that I had been to up to today were of people who were sickly, old or knew that their death was eminent. But this one was different...sadness was everywhere, you couldn't escape it... the overwhelming grief filled each room. There was no laughter, no catching up, just mourning. Although it was our goal to celebrate his life, it was tainted by the reminder of its brevity. I feel cold saying that Steven's death is the first that I've actually mourned, but it's true. I feel a sadness that I can't shake, and no matter what I am doing, images of him and his crying wife and mother sneak into my thoughts.

On another negative note, I missed 2 days of class for the viewing/funeral and it's reflecting in my grade. Awesome thing about nursing school?...absolutely no excused absences.

I know my daily routine will pick back up eventually, but I don't think Steven will ever leave my thoughts completely. Even though I only saw him a few times a year, I'll think about him everyday.

Back to the daily grind.

Since the snowpocalypse came on Sunday night, I was able to wheedle my way out of working on Monday. Great Success! Unfortunately, I really was unable to maneuver my vehicle in the snow and was unable to get home to get my textbooks for class on Tuesday. Sean got off early and came home around noon. I stayed in a pretty cranky mood for most of the day for reasons unbeknownst even unto me... snow, I guess. I thought a nap would help, but all that did was make me even crankier. Later, Johnny and Dakota came over for dinner, some drinks and a game of Risk. I love Risk, but my ADD prevents me from truly excelling at it. I decided to forfeit and let my territories become neutral and I quickly moved onto something else, like COD : )

That brings us to today- which started off really well and continued throughout. My original plan for the day was that I was going to skip my morning class in order to go home and get my textbooks for my evening classes (in which homework was due). But luckily my morning class professor canceled class on account of her inability to make it. So I was able to go home, get my books, finish my homework and not even have to miss a class. I call that awesome! I believe I did fairly well on my Med Term quiz and to top it all off, my Cog Psych Professor ordered the whole class pizza! I came home to a mess of laundry but I just put in my last load about an hour ago. It was a wonderful Tuesday.

Tomorrow night is Half-price sushi, so it can only get better, yay!

KS formal in Nashville

It was a long, but much needed mini-vacation to Nashville this weekend.

The trip started off pretty smooth after Sean and I got ourselves out the door. We then picked up Dakota and Lauren and we were on our way! On the 3 hour car ride, we found ourselves engaging in some pretty deep and philosophical conversation. Although I'm not sure how it began, the topic moved to religion and our (non) beliefs. I can't even begin to express how important and meaningful it was to me to share my thoughts with someone else and have them not only agree, but expand upon those thoughts. Sean and I don't have a lot of people in our lives that share our post-theistic views, so its nice when we can get some healthy conversation with those who think likewise. In a world dominated by religion, its nice to know there are others who decided to jump off the crazy train.

After arriving at the Opry Land hotel, we set our sights on finding some grub. After much deliberation and preparation we ended up deciding on The Aquarium restaurant in the Opry Mills Mall. I would highly suggest this venue for anyone. Whether you are a couple needing a romantic setting, a family in need of a child friendly atmosphere, or a group of friends who want food and sharks to look at while you eat. You are literally in the middle of a giant aquarium where there are colorful fish and a variety of sea creatures to watch while you wait for and eat your food. The food was great but because of the price, Sean and I both agreed that this would be our Valentines day dinner.

After stuffing ourselves, Lauren, Dakota, Sean and myself decided to try out a place the offered sting ray petting and feeding. I'll admit, I was skeptical at first, but the glow in Sean's eyes like a child on Christmas morning when he saw the sign for the sting rays, just melted my heart. Anyways, fast-forward through me paying $4 (each) to get in and $2 for three pieces of raw shrimp and we're feeding these string rays. But as usual, I was overly skeptical and misjudged the awesomeness that is feeding a sting ray that is in a shallow pool. I had so much fun, and would definitely pay the $6 again and again.

Before returning to the hotel, we had to make a liquor run. I don't remember what Dakota and Sean got exactly, just that I remember thinking that it looked like a bad idea. Lauren and I grab ourselves some fun-sized Mai Tai's and jello shots with some good ol' premixed margarita's. It was a fun night of drinking which included (but was not limited to) walking through the gardens, getting lost, throwing up, running from a big gay bear, tag teaming in and out of the room and unnecessary do-rags ("because douche-bag goes with everything!").

Saturday morning was a slow one, we got up, ate a Cracker Barrel and then proceeded to go shopping. Last year in Nashville Sean and I noticed that there was an oxygen bar, and told ourselves that if we ever had $20 burning a hole in our pockets whilst in Nashville, we would try it. Although my $20 wasn't exactly burning me, we decided to try it nonetheless. It was a unique experience, but not one that I would ever feel the burning desire to do again. We all questioned the authenticity of the scientific jargon they were feeding us but I'll leave it to Sean's blog to further investigate the validity of the science behind the oxygen bar.

Oh yeah, and then there was the actual formal dinner. Unfortunately I accepted Lauren's pre-formal jello shots and I don't remember any specifics of the evening. The food was good (I think), the awards were funny (I think) and somebody was called a big gay bear. All that I really recall was getting extremely antsy and bored. This provoked me to ask Sean if he had "lost" something, and that we should go "look" for it in a dark unoccupied room down the hall. The night ended with some more tag teaming in and out of the room, strolls in the gardens and a soak in the overpopulated hot tub.

The conversations of the car ride home were as equally stimulating (if not more so) than the previous ones from our trip down. We listened to Stephen Hawking's "A Briefer History of Time" an discussed the wonders of our universe. I know I'm a nerd, and I am truly proud of it. We arrived home and picked up our baby girl, Bella. She greeted us with a the other dogs soaked in mud from snow wrestling. We are now settled in at home, ready for a peaceful evening. Whew.

Busy Friday

I'm exhausted.

It's 2:30pm and I've been awake 10.5 hours already. I had to be at the hospital this morning early for my clinical. It went OK, but I did a little more lifting than I should have so my back is pretty sore. But nevertheless, I had to pack and prepare for the trip to Nashville this weekend right after my shift. I am now listening to Sean beg me to pack his stuff, because apparently that" will be good practice for when I am the wife of a busy doctor"...boy does he have another thing comin'. KS formal is always fun, but its a lot of hassle and I don't know half the guys there anymore. I go because I don't think Sean would go dateless.

I miss my Bella, the house is so empty without her. She is off at Sean's parents house playing with the other dogs. She always has a great time playing but she comes back so stinky! I'm going to start making Sean or his parents get her groomed before she comes back in the house.

Well now Mr. Disorganized has decided that he needs to kick it into high gear so he's ready to go. Love him.

I think I'll side with the angels on this one