A rough weekend.

Sorry about the lack of posts, but its been a rough weekend.

On Friday afternoon my cousin, Steven R. Foster, was killed in a head on collision in Grenville, AL. He was 43 years old. The man who hit him wasn't drunk, texting, or on his cell phone. He simply lost control around a curb and over-corrected into the other lane. A complete accident. My mother called me to let me know and the news hit me pretty hard. My cousin was always a laughing man, always ready with a joke or something to keep the conversation alive. He was also a loving father and husband. His oldest boy, Zach, is autistic like my brother, only more severe. He adored his wife and it was evident in everything that he did that he put his family first.

Funeral's are hard for me not always because of the loss, but because of my loss for words. I don't have the generic religious fallback phrases such as "he is in a better place" or "God wanted him home"... in fact, I believe that sometimes those phrases make people more angry and confused. I told them that I was there for them should they have any need whatsoever and that Steve would be so pleased to see how many lives he had touched in his short life.

I have personally been to 7 funerals in 2 years but this was the first that I really felt the grief. All that I had been to up to today were of people who were sickly, old or knew that their death was eminent. But this one was different...sadness was everywhere, you couldn't escape it... the overwhelming grief filled each room. There was no laughter, no catching up, just mourning. Although it was our goal to celebrate his life, it was tainted by the reminder of its brevity. I feel cold saying that Steven's death is the first that I've actually mourned, but it's true. I feel a sadness that I can't shake, and no matter what I am doing, images of him and his crying wife and mother sneak into my thoughts.

On another negative note, I missed 2 days of class for the viewing/funeral and it's reflecting in my grade. Awesome thing about nursing school?...absolutely no excused absences.

I know my daily routine will pick back up eventually, but I don't think Steven will ever leave my thoughts completely. Even though I only saw him a few times a year, I'll think about him everyday.

A not-so-brief introduction

My name is Rachael Elizabeth. I am 21 years old. Really, I'm about 42. I don't try to act older or superior to anyone, but I sometimes come across that way. I am extremely organized, list-oriented and focused on time management. I’m pretty nerdy and I tire easily, so I fit into the mold of middle-aged soccer mom quite nicely.

I live in Louisville, KY with my grandparents. Even though I was raised here, my parents and siblings no longer live here. In 2004 my father was transferred to Alabama. Unfortunately, shortly after I graduated high school and moved back to Louisville to attend college, my father lost his Job. It has been a struggle for my family ever since. My mother has had to return to work because even now, 3 years later, my father has still been unable to find work. You know that the economy is pathetic when a man holding a master’s degree in chemical engineering can’t find a job. But that is a post for another day.

I have two wonderful siblings. A younger sister, Shelby and a younger brother, Andrew. Shelby is the social butterfly and the troublemaker. She never meets a stranger and even if she did she would talk their ear off. My mother refers to her as the rebel child, which my sister takes as a compliment. She is my soul’s best friend, even if she doesn’t know it yet. My brother is the exact opposite of Shelby on the social spectrum, although not by his choosing. Andrew has Asperger’s Syndrome. Even when I was younger and we didn’t know what was wrong about Andrew, we knew that he was different. Even though we know now that his problems come with a name, it doesn’t make it any easier to watch him struggle with everyday activities. Again, a post for another day.

I am a Nursing student and I also have worked for the past 3 years as a pharmacy technician. Working at the pharmacy has taught me so much more about my field than I would have ever imagined. It has taught me to be confident in myself when I am with a patient as well as the power of educating the patient. I enjoy being able to “translate” doctor’s requests or orders to a patient and bringing the information to them in a way that they can better understand. I love learning about the human body and being able to share that knowledge with others. I really feel that knowledge is power and I want as much of it as possible! Health care is truly my element.

I am also a very loving person. In the way that I need to love and be loved. I met the love of my life, Sean, when I was just 14 years old. Of course I didn’t know it then, but I am so lucky to have this amazing man in my life. He is my constant support and encouragement that helps me manage day to day. He inspires me to try harder and do better. He brings out the best (and sometimes worst) in me. No matter what, we always make each other smile and we never go to bed with hurt feelings. Sean and I will be celebrating 6 years on 12/21/09 and many people ask us why we haven’t just gotten married. That just isn’t on the agenda for Sean and I right now. We are both high achievers and are focused on finishing our degrees. I often tell people that we are “engaged to be engaged” because the term boyfriend sometimes just doesn’t express what he really is to me.

On that note, many of our friends are already starting to have children. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little bit jealous. So after much deliberation and discussion, Sean and I decided to start a family of our own. That is why we are now the proud parents of a beautiful German shepherd puppy, Bella Grace. She is an amazing handful, but you couldn’t give me anything for her. I’m sure I’ll be posting pictures soon.

I have amazing friends as well. Although I’m not the social butterfly that Shelby is, I have friends that are very near and dear to my heart- many whom I have known since grade school. I often think that if I were to meet someone identical to myself, I’m not sure if I would be friends with that person; a true testament to how tolerant and awesome my friends are!

Well, that’s about it for my introduction for now. I could go on and on for days about my different quirks and the dreams I have for my life, but I feel that my essential characteristics and my true nature will shine through my entries on this blog. I hope you enjoyed : )