Love

Love; (luv) noun 1): strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties maternal love for a child 2): attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers 3): affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests, love for his brothers.

This is the definition of love that you will find in Webster's Dictionary...and I don't really think that it really describes love. It sounds too brief, too easy, too simple. Not anything like love at all.

I love Sean Warren and our love is very different from Websters'.

I met Sean at the tender age of 14. I was "going out" with one of his friends who was hosting a Halloween party. I didn't know what to go as so I grabbed a pair of my mother's scrubs and stethoscope and went as a nurse. When I arrived at the house a little early, I was directed to the basement where the "party" was to be held. There was hardly anyone there yet except for my then boyfriend and an odd person in the corner with a masked costume on. I asked my boyfriend who it was and he merely shrugged his shoulders. I then asked the mystery man who he was...no response. After being thoroughly creeped out for 30 minutes they finally decided to end the joke and introduced me to my boyfriend's best friend: Sean Warren. Sean was short, had curly red hair, and a quiet disposition. I don't remember much else about the night, I know there was some sort of flashlight tag where I think I fell in the mud but the rest of the night was apparently not worth remembering.

Sean and I didn't cross paths again for almost another year. Our second meeting was during the summer on my 15th birthday. Both of our parents had shipped us off to a Christian Leadership Camp (and my parents claimed they never abused me). Due to a mandatory group project, Sean and I found ourselves in a group together. Somewhere along the way we began discussing our home lives. I'm sure I said my bit about never getting anything I wanted, etc. Sean began talking of a thwarted attempt to runaway from home. He had grabbed a tube of Pringles and walked out of the front door. I found the story for endearing and pathetic I laughed until I cried. Not long after the camp ended, school started up again. I was surprised when Sean approached me the very first week of school. After that every time I ran into Sean he was always making me laugh no matter what we were doing or talking about. He was always the butt of his own jokes, and always had something nice to say to me.

Now remember, I am 15 and probably the most selfish person on the planet. Any idiot could have seen that Sean had a crush on me, but I was too busy trying to catch the attention of senior boys. While I waited by the phone each night for my senior football dreamboat to call, I would pass the time by getting on AIM. The first name that would always pop up would be SeanShark88 with an enthusiastic "hey!". Our conversations would last until his little brother began to demand his turn on the computer. Eventually, the interruption of our conversations annoyed us so much that one night Sean asked if I would be interested in taking a walk with him around our neighborhood (we only lived a couple of streets down from one another) to see the Christmas lights. I agreed. Walks became a nightly ritual for us. Sean would call around 7 o'clock and we would agree to meet up for our walks. We talked about everything and nothing. Parents, siblings, school, dreams, fears, likes, dislikes...but we never had to force conversation, it just flowed. Sometimes we flirted so bad it was shameful, I would tell Sean how cold my hands were and he would suggest that I share his coat pocket with his hand.

I don't know exactly when it happened, but I began to fall for Sean Warren. One on particular night when Sean I were walking, we saw a shooting star. Extremely excited that we had seen it, I suggested that we should each make a wish. As our walk came to an end we sat together on the wooden fence of the Harmony Hills pool and savored the last few moments of conversation we had left before curfew. I then playfully asked Sean what he had wished for. He leaned in, kissed me, and said "you". SOLD! I remember practically dancing into my room and basking in the light of new found love. Being the shamelessly giddy 15 year old girl that I still am, I remember the day Sean asked me to be his girlfriend: December 21st, 2003.

Unfortunately, my time with Sean was cut short. My father applied for a transfer position that he was accepted for and our family was moving the the great hell hole, I mean state, of Alabama. I remember the moment I told Sean that my family was moving. It was the Saturday before Easter Sunday. We had watched his brother in a play and afterward we walked (surprise, surprise) to the nature preserve. I sat him down in the gazebo with tears flowing and told him my horrible news. Despite what logic would tell us as well as our parents, we decided to try and make it work. I think about the stupidity of it now, and laugh at my naive 15 yr old self...but then I look over and see Sean there and I remind myself that it was the best decision I've made in my entire life.

I came up to Kentucky for every holiday and school break. I stayed for the summers and I went to his prom. But I won't lie, 2 years apart was rough. But we made it. Stronger, more mature, more respectful of each other able to communicate our feelings to one another in an honest and sensitive way. I returned to Louisville for college and I know it's cliche' but the rest is history.

The point is, our love isn't just a sexual attraction or a kinship based on common interests. We fight hard everyday to keep our love going. And because we work so hard, our relationship is amazing. I still dance into my room at night after Sean tells me he loves me. I still get butterflies when he reaches for my hand. I still doodle his last name with my name. I still can't fall asleep at night until I tell Sean I love him and I know that he is safe. Sean is my world. He is my love.

A not-so-brief introduction

My name is Rachael Elizabeth. I am 21 years old. Really, I'm about 42. I don't try to act older or superior to anyone, but I sometimes come across that way. I am extremely organized, list-oriented and focused on time management. I’m pretty nerdy and I tire easily, so I fit into the mold of middle-aged soccer mom quite nicely.

I live in Louisville, KY with my grandparents. Even though I was raised here, my parents and siblings no longer live here. In 2004 my father was transferred to Alabama. Unfortunately, shortly after I graduated high school and moved back to Louisville to attend college, my father lost his Job. It has been a struggle for my family ever since. My mother has had to return to work because even now, 3 years later, my father has still been unable to find work. You know that the economy is pathetic when a man holding a master’s degree in chemical engineering can’t find a job. But that is a post for another day.

I have two wonderful siblings. A younger sister, Shelby and a younger brother, Andrew. Shelby is the social butterfly and the troublemaker. She never meets a stranger and even if she did she would talk their ear off. My mother refers to her as the rebel child, which my sister takes as a compliment. She is my soul’s best friend, even if she doesn’t know it yet. My brother is the exact opposite of Shelby on the social spectrum, although not by his choosing. Andrew has Asperger’s Syndrome. Even when I was younger and we didn’t know what was wrong about Andrew, we knew that he was different. Even though we know now that his problems come with a name, it doesn’t make it any easier to watch him struggle with everyday activities. Again, a post for another day.

I am a Nursing student and I also have worked for the past 3 years as a pharmacy technician. Working at the pharmacy has taught me so much more about my field than I would have ever imagined. It has taught me to be confident in myself when I am with a patient as well as the power of educating the patient. I enjoy being able to “translate” doctor’s requests or orders to a patient and bringing the information to them in a way that they can better understand. I love learning about the human body and being able to share that knowledge with others. I really feel that knowledge is power and I want as much of it as possible! Health care is truly my element.

I am also a very loving person. In the way that I need to love and be loved. I met the love of my life, Sean, when I was just 14 years old. Of course I didn’t know it then, but I am so lucky to have this amazing man in my life. He is my constant support and encouragement that helps me manage day to day. He inspires me to try harder and do better. He brings out the best (and sometimes worst) in me. No matter what, we always make each other smile and we never go to bed with hurt feelings. Sean and I will be celebrating 6 years on 12/21/09 and many people ask us why we haven’t just gotten married. That just isn’t on the agenda for Sean and I right now. We are both high achievers and are focused on finishing our degrees. I often tell people that we are “engaged to be engaged” because the term boyfriend sometimes just doesn’t express what he really is to me.

On that note, many of our friends are already starting to have children. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little bit jealous. So after much deliberation and discussion, Sean and I decided to start a family of our own. That is why we are now the proud parents of a beautiful German shepherd puppy, Bella Grace. She is an amazing handful, but you couldn’t give me anything for her. I’m sure I’ll be posting pictures soon.

I have amazing friends as well. Although I’m not the social butterfly that Shelby is, I have friends that are very near and dear to my heart- many whom I have known since grade school. I often think that if I were to meet someone identical to myself, I’m not sure if I would be friends with that person; a true testament to how tolerant and awesome my friends are!

Well, that’s about it for my introduction for now. I could go on and on for days about my different quirks and the dreams I have for my life, but I feel that my essential characteristics and my true nature will shine through my entries on this blog. I hope you enjoyed : )